Yeah, Thanks for that
by skyflyte12
Summary: AU fem!Naruto. Demons and time travelling- She could have laughed herself sick were it not for a distinct lack of time with the Akatsuki extracting Kyuubi and all. So she did it, damn the consequences! But now things aren't how she remembered...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

_Konoha, Hokage tower_

Sarutobi Hiruzen was leaning over a piece of paper, reading its contents in sheer disbelief. He was happy that his pipe had been placed on the table beforehand, as otherwise it would have clattered to the floor.

He looked demandingly at the man standing across from his desk, "And you are sure that this is correct?"

The man had long spiky white hair and red tattoos on his face, and for once his expression was deadly serious. "Hai. I checked it out myself. He's gone, and so are his followers. All dead."

Sarutobi allowed his eyes to rest back on the document which held information that was recently obtained by the Toad Sennin's impressive spy network. Information was the ultimate power in the shinobi world. "I can't believe he's actually dead."

Jiraiya slumped down in the seat across the desk, pulling out two saucers and a bottle of sake, pouring out a measured proportion in each. He nodded in accord to the Hokage's words.

He was still conflicted on this issue. On one side, the man had truly been insane. Manipulating and experimenting on people; the world may just be a brighter place without the Hebi alive. On the other hand, the man was once his teammate and fellow member of the Densetsu no Sannin. He had once made a promise to save that man. But he was irredeemable; it was just a matter of time before someone killed him. He had actually hoped to be the one to complete that task himself.

Jiraiya handed one saucer to the Sandaime, who had put down the document. He raised his own saucer and took a sip. It clinked as he set it back down on the desk. "This brings up another problem, you know."

Sarutobi sipped his own drink and closed his eyes. In that moment, the Gama Sannin saw his old sensei looking his full age. "Aaa."

Jiraiya continued, "The organisation I have uncovered that calls itself 'Akatsuki' could be behind it. I know that Orochimaru left Akatsuki, but I had not expected them to go after him; especially after so long. It may also be a new threat that no one has heard of yet. I will keep my spies on the lookout for information on who did this. We must be careful. Anyone who can decimate Orochimaru and annihilate his followers must be a force to reckoned with. No evidence was left, but it was clear that it was only one person who carried out the act. That person would be a great enemy, or ally."

Sarutobi put down his saucer and rubbed his eyes. He was remembering that little student who had made fun of Jiraiya and ran away from his fan girls. Who had been in the running for the position of Yondaime Hokage.

To avoid being lost to the memories, he made a concerted effort to come back to the present. "Yes, I agree. You should try to uncover the perpetrator; we need to know if they are a threat to the village. Not to mention that if Akatsuki _is_ behind this, they are a greater threat than previously assumed. We need to ensure that the new generation is stronger than the last. I will get the new jounin sensei to train their teams harder."

Jiraiya nodded; that was only common sense. "I just hope we haven't traded one enemy for an even greater one."

Sandaime finished off his sake. "You and me both, old friend."

Both men were contemplating the future as they finished off their sake.

_

* * *

_

Somewhere in Ta no Kuni

One woman who had had enough of thinking about the future was lying in the back of a merchant cart, looking up at the stars.

Technically, she probably shouldn't be _in_ the cart, as the owner of said vehicle wasn't exactly aware of her presence.

But that just made it all the more fun for her.

Vivid fire-red hair was sprawled messily about, arms behind her head and violet eyes vacant; she was trying to get the faces of her friends out of her mind. It was proving impossible.

Hikari. Light. At first the name had been a joke.

When things went to hell, she was the one they all gravitated towards. Offering them a smile, determination, comedic relief… the list went on. That was what they had eventually renamed her as; a light to ward off the ever growing darkness.

And that was the name she now lived by.

She had drawn _her_ courage from those that acknowledged her – those that still lived had given her hope, something to live for. Even as the deaths of her friends felt like multiple stab wounds to the heart, (if only; the physical side she could live through) she would still live on to ensure the lives of the others.

The macabre pictures of her friend's last resting places flashed through her mind's eye.

There were none left.

The world had truly gone to hell in a hand basket, and it was all _her_ fault.

Konoha burned to the ground, in an attempt to capture the Kyuubi.

Her friends had forced themselves on her; looking to her for a leader when the last fragments of the Rookie Eleven had banded together in an attempt to destroy Akatsuki, and protect the survivors of Konoha.

Fat lot of good that did them.

Her delicate brows creased. Now, when did she start letting the bad get to her? What happened to all her masks, her impenetrable defences? The masks that were even capable of fooling herself?

The funny thing was that even Ibiki couldn't tell when she was lying. The others had found that particular conversation hilarious. He had, at the end, asked what colour the sky was, and she told him in absolute seriousness that it was green.

The interrogator's lips had twitched, and she knew he had not been able to tell that she was lying. She had gotten conformation of this when the lazy genius, Shikamaru, had burst out laughing upon exiting the room.

Aaa. That had gotten them out of her mind.

It would be different, this time.

Yes, _this_ time.

Time travel was a volatile thing, and she had no assurances of being able to make any difference at all.

But whatever happened, it had to be better than what had happened before.

Her mind was dragged back to the final moments.

Madara had finally captured her, having killed all of her friends. He had gathered up the remnants of Akatsuki and they had taken her to a huge cave – much like the one they had rescued Gaara from, she remembered. She had been told they would be using the power of the bijuu to 'rule the world'. Sure, it may not have been an original goal, but she knew all to well the mind-numbing power of the Kyuubi, and knew that it would end the world as they knew it.

At that time they had started the ritual, and something had pushed her into unconsciousness.

_Flashback no Jutsu!_

Drip

Drip

Drip

The sound that haunted her unconscious mind. That memory was dead and buried.

"**So, gaki. You let yourself get caught."**

The voice was disdainful.

Kyuubi could, of course, felt the chakra that was attempting to break through the yarou's seal. It knew it wouldn't work; shinigami did not make a seal that cracked. The Kitsune _would_ know, having been attempting to break out for years.

Now, it had a choice. Well, not really. Shinigami was _still_ pissed off at Kyuubi for getting trapped under Uchiha Madara's dangerous eyes, and the only way to circumvent pissing off the Shinigami further would be to right the wrongs; escape to be able to begin again as a young fox that would grow to its former glory in time.

And the only way to get out would be abandoning its current chakra to the gaki it had been trapped in.

Only problem with that would be that the gaki would die before it could get out, and the world would still be unbalanced – the chakra would be free to kill everything. If it could find a way to do this without that outcome, it could finally be free of the human's petty worries. Kyuubi gazed down at the gaki, and an idea formed.

Hikari had crossed her arms and was glaring up at the Kyuubi, sapphire blue eyes hard as ice. "I didn't _let _myself get caught. Fuzzy, you of anybody would know how strong they are – after all, they managed to get all of the other Jinchuuriki and bijuu."

Kyuubi growled at the 'fuzzy' jab, but ignored it in favour of presenting its idea, **"It is possible to fix this, you know."**

Hikari raised her eyebrows, "Suuure it is. Everyone's dead. Anyway, there ain't no way to get out from this ritual thing alive. Accept it, fox, you've been beat."

Red eyes narrowed at the blond, **"You are finally whimping out? After all this time, you choose the moment in which your decision could save all of your friends to give up? Maybe my vessel was worse than I thought. Scaredy Cat."** The Kyuubi added that last bit to taunt the teenager.

It had the desired effect; those blue eyes filled with wary determination as she retorted sarcastically, "So, magnificent kitsune, what do you think will get us out of this situation?"

Kyuubi decided to ignore the tone. **"Time travel."**

Hikari blinked. "Time. Travel. …Oh, sure, I'll just go get my coat." She then snorted, "As if! That's impossible, even for the 'almighty' Kyuubi!"

She then burst into hysterical laughter at the very idea.

Fine, so the stress might have gotten to her. Who could blame her?

The fox was not amused. It waited for the girl to desist, and then continued, **"Actually, it is possible as time means little to me. The only reason I haven't mentioned it before now is because your body could not have taken all my chakra. Now, this statue is actively trying to break your chakra coils, effectively stretching them while my chakra continually heals them. You have also already absorbed much of my chakra, so the transition would not kill you. You'd be fine, and I would be gone."**

Hikari looked at him speculatively, surprised he would be so altruistic - which was admittedly making her extremely suspicious of his words. "Now why would you do that? What do you have to gain from this, if you would be gone?"

Kyuubi looked at her, **"I gain avoidance from becoming a puppet. I would prefer that my chakra not be exploited. I do not wish to be trapped in a mere statue. You were bad enough."**

Hikari had to admit that it was a reasonable explanation, even if it was probably only one of many. "How would I know that you could not influence me when I go back? That you would not actually take over my body?"

Kyuubi was annoyed but said, **"I give you my word that I do this for your benefit, and that it will have no ill effects to you. It will only result in the premature absorption of my chakra, I will be gone from your body, and the 'whiskers' that mark you as my jinchuuriki will be removed. There may also be a slight change to your appearance. You will remain in your current form, and you will technically be part demon."**

Hikari was quick to mutter, "I damn well hope that ears and tails won't be in the appearance aspect."

The fox's ears twitched irritably, **"No ears or tails. You will gain the natural techniques of the Kitsune, which I will leave you some instructions on. Now, are you going to do this or not? Soon your coils will break, my chakra or not, and we will both die."**

Hikari debated with herself for a second more. The fox's word was iron clad, and she would be able to influence the future to avoid the same end. "Ok, Kyuubi. What have I gotta do?"

"**Just rip off that seal and I'll take care of the rest."**

The last thing Hikari remembered was light and debilitating pain.

_Flashback no jutsu, Kai_

Well, she had made a change immediately upon arriving, although it wasn't exactly planned out.

Imagine her surprise to wake up in the middle of the snake sannin's lair with the fruity bastard himself standing over her. She had realised at the same time that she was also as naked as the day she was born, and that the glasses freak was there as well. Now, he was almost worse than the snake freak in her time, having taken Orochimaru's place.

Now, _usually_ she didn't exactly mind being naked in front of people; she had a shockingly low level of modesty (which probably had something to do with the acceptance that shinobi – like ero-sennin – could peep on her without any knowledge of the fact on her part) and Dignity? Well, she never had such a useless thing in the first place. Not that she _enjoyed_ being naked in front of people, however. Just that she recognised that it was unavoidable for it to happen occasionally. But it was just freaky how they were looking at her, and all thought about just teleporting away disappeared to be replaced with the urge to kill everybody.

Fine, it may have had _something_ to do with the fact that they had killed a lot of her friends, but she desired never to be classified as an avenger. That did no one any good.

She actually thought that it was her naked form that put the ninja off-balance. She didn't think they even realised that she was a threat before she had killed them and started attacking everyone else.

And well, the rest is history… or at least an altered version of it.

Just to be thorough, she had stolen the maps to the hideouts and went to call. Most of the people that had been experimented on begged for her to put them out of their misery, and she had granted them this last favour, although she disliked it.

After the first base she had found some suitable clothes, of course.

She wasn't an exhibitionist, after all. Just flippant about those kinds of things – you travel with the ero-sennin long enough and you kinda don't care about it as much. Perverts would be perverts. It was a twisted compliment, in a way, and pretty harmless – at least to the one who was spied on. She would usually just go and chase after them _after_ she had enjoyed her time in the hot springs, thank-you very much. No mere pervert was going to cheat her out of relaxing, and the way she saw it, they may as well enjoy the show before she went sadistic on their arses. Ah, her most well-known jutsu was 'castration no jutsu', although the name was a misnomer. That was usually used for deterrent purposes.

She was still royally pissed off at the Kyuubi, however. That teme just _had_ to have a twisted sense of humour and get in the last laugh. She acknowledged that that was pretty much the only way she would find the fruity hebi and catch him soo off guard that she could kill him without resorting to her favourite jutsu, but it was just cruel.

So that was over, and hopefully the annoyance that was Orochimaru being removed prematurely would help more than hinder. What if one of the people the snake bastard kidnapped in the future grew up to be even worse than him? Well, that was a risk she would have to take as it came. Hopefully it would bide enough time so that the Uzumaki Naruto of this time could help her keep everybody safe.

The wagon was still moving along, and Hikari contemplated her next actions. She would go to Konoha, if only to discover what was happening to the younger her.

But not yet.

It was never a good idea to rush into a ninja village without identification or a good reason to be there. She would start a 'spy network' and amble around for a while. Hopefully, she could help Konoha, but she knew that a stranger would hardly be welcomed with open arms. She would make friends with some shinobi she met on the road, and hopefully this would build her up a good enough rapport to get in.

Actually, she had just decided upon her destination, although it would entail passing through a lot of different towns – which was actually the point of it, really.

There were two things, she knew, that would provide her with an idea of the exact time period.

Well, actually three things, but she had already discovered the absence of Sasuke in Orochimaru's lair, and thus deduced it was before the yarou turned traitor.

The things she would use to gauge the time were simple; whether the chuunin exams had taken place, and she would go to Wave and see if the bridge was completed.

She would be able to get a better idea of what had to be done then.

_

* * *

_

Konoha, mission distribution room

A small blond in an orange jumpsuit cackled as the evil demon cat was squeezed to death by the Daimyo's wife. "Ha! Take that you stupid cat! You deserve it!"

A pink-haired female scowled hit the blond on the head, "Urusai, Naruto!"

The blond scowled and rubbed his head, "Itai! Sakura-chan, why did you do that?"

Sakura was going to reply at a very high pitch when Kakashi placed a hand on the genin's heads, "Both of you should show respect in front of Hokage-sama."

The aged Sandaime's lips were twitching, so he focused on shuffling his papers and presenting their next mission, "Now let's see what missions are available. Hmm, well there's weeding, grocery deliveries, milking cows, cleaning up the streets, training ground eleven needs to be fixed up... amongst others."

The blond was twitching, and finally burst into sound, "I AM NOT DOING ANY MORE STUPID D-RANKED MISSIONS! GIVE US A PROPER MISSION!"

Iruka started berating Naruto, but Sarutobi held up a hand, "Well, what does the rest of team seven feel about this? Do you think you deserve a higher ranked mission?"

Sasuke nodded, and Sakura vocally agreed with him. Kakashi was looking sheepish and embarrassed; quite the deviation from his normal attitude. "Well, I think they will be ok."

Sarutobi was serious as he picked up a certain C-Ranked mission and handed the information to the silver-haired jounin.

Naruto was bragging about how much better he'd gotten with Kakashi's brutal training, but Sarutobi ignored this to describe the mission, "Ok, then, you will be given a C-Ranked mission. The objective is to protect Tazuna, a master bridge builder, on his journey back to Wave. It should take about a week to get there, and you are to be guarding him until the completion of the bridge, which should take a further two weeks. Send in Tazuna."

The door flew open to revel a drunken man, "Hello! I am Tazuna, master bridge builder! And you are going to protect me on my way back to the bridge!"

_

* * *

_

Somewhere in Hi no Kuni

Hikari's violet eyes took in the expressions of the men at the table.

She smirked wickedly, "Sorry, boys, but I've got you beat. Straight Flush." And she laid her cards out in front of her.

They groaned, and she collected the money.

Ah, she loved games of luck.

And in this time, they didn't even know about her supernatural luck. She would be able to have a lot of fun by the time _that_ little piece of information got out to all the casinos!

She cashed in the chips and was on her way out when someone brushed past her. "Hey!" She said irritably, almost dropping the money she had not sealed away.

The person turned around, her features set in a scowl, and then turned to walk out silently, having dismissed her.

Hikari was frozen in shock.

What were the chances of the Slug Sannin being in this casino, at this time? Hmm, she may just have to make a friend. After all, what better connection than the Godaime Hokage?

She skipped out of the establishment and yelled, "Hey, obaa-san!"

Fine. Maybe she just wanted a chance to torment the old woman, or soften her up for her chibi self. Well, ok… maybe it was mostly about the enjoyment she would derive from it.

The sannin stiffened and turned slowly around, eyes crinkling angrily as she took in the red head. "Who the _hell_ are you to call me Grandma?"

Hikari grinned deviously, "Would you prefer Legendary Sucker?"

Tsunade seemed to take offence. She advanced on the short woman threateningly, "I will repeat. Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?"

Hikari put her hands behind her head serenely, "Someone who is good at gambling, and thinks she knows a way to exploit your rotten luck."

The blond raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You better be able to hold your sake, then."

The red head grinned, "Aaa. If there was one thing I know, it's that." Privately, Hikari thought this particular fact was a curse disguised as a blessing. Kyuubi treated alcohol as poison. She could drink more than Gamabunta himself and still be stone cold sober. Seriously. She'd had a drinking contest with him sometime on the road with ero-sennin.

Twenty minutes later found them drinking sake at a bar.

Hikari decided that it was about time for introductions that didn't involve her insulting her companion. "Name's Hikari." She volunteered.

The blond gazed at her over her sake and actually smiled, "Tsunade."

They clicked glasses together and continued drinking, Hikari being prompted by Tsunade, "So. What was this idea you had?"

Hikari took another sip and grinned, "All you need is to bring a partner. You bet that it will never be something, and then the other person bets on that, but a larger amount than what you bet on your choice. Ya never know, it may just work."

Tsunade's lips slid into smile, "Hm. Interesting. I wonder if I could con Shizune into trying it."

Hikari smiled curiously, "Who's Shizune?" She had to keep up the whole 'I only know you through reputation' thing, so she may as well go the whole ten yards.

"TSUNADE-SAMA!"

Both froze, though for different reasons. Hikari quickly unfroze and raised an eyebrow at her companion, "Am I to guess that that's Shizune?"

The older woman looked sheepish and attempted to drain the rest of her sake before the brunette managed to arrive.

Shizune berated the sannin, "Tsunade-sama, why are you here? We have to be going, or your debt-collectors will catch up! You were becoming more in debt, weren't you? How much sake have you had? You know, I had to have Tonton sniff you out!" She was extremely frustrated by the childish woman. How old was she, anyway?

Shizune belatedly noticed the red head beside her sensei, and was curious. Tsunade almost never interacted with anyone other than her. Said red head was looking at her curiously, so she decided to introduce herself, "Gomen, my name is Shizune. You are…?"

The young woman smiled, "I'm Hikari, pleased to meet you, Shizune-san."

Tsunade only grabbed her hand and forced her into the seat on her other side, ordering more sake. Shizune decided to stick around and discover the reason her mentor decided to talk with the young woman.

They all engaged in amiable chatter, and Shizune found herself enjoying the conversation. She had to admit that she hadn't seen Tsunade this relaxed for a long time. Hikari made jokes and told stories that had them all laughing, and Shizune found herself enjoying the stranger's company more and more.

There was something about the woman; an easy air maybe, something that hinted towards relaxation and good humour. She definitely had charisma, that's for sure.

Shizune had immediately known that the woman wasn't a threat to them. It was extremely hard for a person to hide shinobi training. Not because of the elevated chakra level; that was easily hidden by either suppressing or a genjutsu. No, it was the way they carried themselves, the way they walked and the way they talked. Also the way their eyes seemed to flit about, taking in all the potential threats.

Even the best shinobi is unable to hide these signs for any period of time.

Ironically, the better the shinobi, the worse they were at hiding the signs of being a shinobi. It becomes their life, and they never stop or even notice what they do that identifies them as a shinobi, even as they use these signs to pick out other shinobi – it becomes an ingrained habit. This woman had the basic signs, but that could point to once attending an academy, most likely dropping out. She held no hitai-ite, which was a good sign because even nuke-nin could never seem to part with theirs.

Another more obvious sign that said the teen hadn't had any real career as a shinobi was that her skin was clear and unblemished – as a shinobi, it is impossible to avoid scars. Everyone had more than one, for even the most experienced ninja had been an untrained rookie, once.

She seemed to be a normal person. All these things told Shizune that this was not a shinobi.

But then, there was still something that she could not put her finger on. Something that seemed to put her apart from civilians.

The only thing that blatantly contradicted the primary assessment would be the unusual colour of her eyes – violet – and the feeling of something underneath. Something that was illusive. It may be called 'underneath the underneath of the underneath'… or just paranoia. Shinobi always had a healthy amount of that particular trait.

It was a weird feeling that would say that this woman could be extremely dangerous when pushed. It was like that open and easy-going aura that had drawn them to her could just turn around and become a massive killing intent at a second's notice; like it was conscious and could be honed like a blade. But it was only a feeling, and one that contradicted all the other things that she and no doubt Tsunade had observed.

Maybe it was this puzzle that had intrigued her mentor enough to find out more. It was certainly intriguing Shizune.

By the end of the night, Shizune was mildly tipsy while her mentor and Hikari were blind drunk. And thus, it was left to her to cart the women off to their hotel room. Well, Hikari would have to stay with them for the night because Shizune had no idea where the woman stayed.

Shizune was wondering how it had escaped her exactly how much sake the two had been able to drink between them.

She must have been really distracted for that to slip by; she almost had a sixth sense when it came to her mentor overindulging.

_

* * *

_

Somewhere between Konoha and Tanzaku Gai

"Remind me why we are doing this again?" A lazy voice drawled as he was trailing along behind his cell.

The jounin instructor looked back at his spiky haired student and wondered just where he had gone wrong. Before he could speak, however, their resident blonde spoke up. "Geez Shikamaru, you should be more excited! This is our first C-Ranked mission!"

And she continued on explaining all of the things he should be excited about.

Asuma thought that he heard the boy mutter "Troublesome" under his breath.

His third genin was eating chips as usual, but also seemed to be looking around warily. There was no real reason to be wary; C-Ranked missions that just involved acting as couriers to near by towns and had no chance of intercepting shinobi. The biggest threat would be bandits, which would be about as threatening as a kitten to a tiger.

Genin did not have enough experience to be thrown into high risk situations, nor did they have the need get thrown in prematurely – that only happened out of necessity during war time.

Who would be stupid enough to allow rookies into that kind of situation in peace time?

Someone pretty stupid, Asuma would wager.

_

* * *

_

One day out of Konoha

Hatake Kakashi sneezed while reading his porn. 'Hmm. Somebody must be talking about me.'

He went back to focusing on his porn, aware of his pink haired genin watching the blond bounce ahead in disgust – he also wondered just where the heck that gaki got all that energy. Even _he_ got tired from travelling at a civilian's pace.

_

* * *

_

Hi no Kuni

"Well, I've gotta get going; there's something I have to check out."

Shizune found herself reluctant to say goodbye to their newfound friend, "We'll see you again?"

Hikari gave them a huge smile, "Course! Someone has to be able to beat obaa-san in a drinking contest, ne?"

The sannin scowled at the seventeen year old, "You have youth on your side, it wasn't fair."

Hikari raised an eyebrow, "So you admit that you're old?"

The blond scowled even more and stepped threateningly towards the younger woman, raising her hand, "Gaki!"

"Eek!" The red head danced away from the opposing woman, "Don't kill the messenger! It's the truth!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "Do I _look_ old to you?"

Those violet eyes sparkled mischievously, "Oh, come on obaa-san. That seal is ancient! No way a flimsy thing like that could get past me!"

Shizune and Tsunade stiffened. This girl as a civilian should not be able to see the seal, much less see _through_ it, or have a hint that the sannin was using a seal to disguise her appearance in the first place. Tsunade grabbed the woman's coat and asked, "Now, how do you know about my seal?"

The woman was still as easy going as the first time they met, although the situation was far worse. She rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on. I am Hikari, the Great Seal Master! As if a seal like that would be able to fool _me_! I'd do the official introduction, but when someone is holding onto your clothes, it doesn't really serve to impress. It's quite cool though, you should know."

Tsunade released the clothes and looked intrigued. "You are a seal master?"

Hikari grinned and bounced on the balls of her feet, "Oh, Hell yeah! Only the best in the world!"

Hikari had decided that she would use her expertise in fuuinjutsu to grant her easy access to the hidden villages – there were just so little Masters left in the world that being able to craft seals smoothed the way with shinobi everywhere, placing you almost above suspicion.

It would also make the shinobi dismiss any signs that she may let slip of being a former shinobi, as seal masters were able to use chakra. During the trip with ero-sennin all those years ago, she had discovered the complete awesomeness of fuuinjutsu. After all, seals were only limited by the creator's imagination and ingenuity – you just had to look at 'Hiraishin no jutsu' to get proof of that.

And she had always been known as the Number One Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja – her and seals went together like Shikamaru and laziness, Chouji and chips, Kakashi and his porn… well, you get the idea. The possibilities were limitless, which was perfect for her position. She would be able to travel everywhere and would not be limited to one village – that way, she should be able to keep an eye out for Akatsuki – not to mention that she'd probably get access to all the jinchuuriki, to check over their seals once her expertise became more well-known.

Another thing cool about being a seal master is that you can piss off however you want and they probably won't try to kill you. Yeah, it's pretty much the norm for those in the fuuinjutsu profession to be at least a little off their rocker – the reason why there's so few is both because of the hard study and the surprisingly easy and numerous ways to get yourself blown up while creating them. You stuff up, you're dead. Usually in an excruciating and highly unusual manor.

Like this one guy who she met in a temple in near Kusa that was trying to make a seal that would dry his clothes… lets just say it was noisy, bloody, flashy and managed to pull down half the damn building before the guy's screams were able to be heard over the spine-chilling sound of fabric ripping.

…She had honestly not thought that fabric could be all that fear-inducing before that day. It took eight shinobi, two dogs and a clothes line to win what shall forever be known as the 'Battle of the Beige' and take down the hideous pile of sharpened clothes-monster. Hikari glanced from side to side for a moment, unable to stop herself from making _damn_ sure the thing wasn't anywhere near her.

Hikari shook the thought aside and had a chat with the woman about seals; they were actually really interested in what she could do.

Finally, she turned away in the direction of the Wave, "Well, I've gotta go, but I'll probably see you guys on the road sometime!"

And with that, she waved at them before setting off to find out just _when_ the hell she was.

_

* * *

_

Meh, I felt that since I'd been posting stuff that I'd held back for ages that I may as well post this as well. Please indicate if this story is worth a second chapter.

_-skyflyte12_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

disclaimer.

_Land of Wave_

It had taken them one week. One whole week to travel to the unfinished bridge that was the object of their mission. Had it just been his team, it would have taken a maximum of two days. Oh, not to mention the non-negotiable run-ins with two chuunin, one jounin and a fake hunter-nin on top of that; all of which were nuke-nin that were (allegedly) hired by Gato to kill their client. Oh, he hoped by all his love for Icha Icha that it _was_ this Gato hiring assassins and not some other guy that the drunken bridge-builder had pissed off at some point – it was never a good thing to assume that it was the obvious person wanting to kill your client; he'd learnt _that_ during his _own_ genin days.

How the hell did he get himself into this mess?

Well, at least all that extra training the Sandaime had ordered him to force upon his team had helped in those encounters – it was seen in the way that they handled the encounter with the jounin; (er, Zabu-something, wasn't it? Hm, he really ought to get better with names…) he was able to give them a strategy and get them to distract Zabuza through 'arguing' which gave Kakashi the upper hand. Of course they probably would have argued any way, but _this _way he could switch them out with exploding bushin and happily continue on their way.

Unfortunately the _next_ time that they encountered the nuke-nin, (which he _knew_ would happen, just like he knew Rin would show up to complain about his tardy habits at 3.24 every Sunday while he was… well, wherever he was in Konoha, no matter how much money he bribed the Hokage with) his companion would probably join the fighting and Kakashi was unsure if his students would be able handle themselves.

Which was why they would have to train more.

Hmm. Training genin made him wish for those nice, relaxing days he spent as a prisoner in Iwa.

_

* * *

_

Somewhere in the Hidden Countries

"Rock… Tree… Rock… Tree… More trees… Big, creepy hideout… Tree… Wait a second!"

Hikari used chakra to bring her speeding pace to a grinding halt. Flailing around for a second, still a bit unused to the extremely potent chakra that she now possessed thanks to everyone's favourite fuzz-ball, she barely managed to prevail and avoid falling flat on her ass.

She started backtracking more slowly, being careful to go at a more… _normal_ pace.

She still wasn't exactly sure of the changes to her chakra. Sure, she was now pretty sure that she could challenge Gai and mini-Gai to a tag-team long-distance sprint and win hands down without breaking a sweat (freaky, extremely freaky) but running was like a goddamned extreme sport. She counted her blessings that the chakra seemed to have altered her eyes to make it possible for her to _see_ what she was passing by (which she knew would have been a blur under her prior circumstances) otherwise she would have been slamming into things with even _more_ consistency than she was managing now.

Her mad healing skills were getting a work out through a vicious cycle – she would start out, making sure not to use the _normal_ amount of chakra to propel herself because of previously worked-out increased potency, but her thoughts would inevitably stray and she would accidentally pump her 'normal' amount, which would literally send her flying, generally bashing into (and through) whatever obstacle that had been available at the time… be that tree, house, the random civilian trading cart… well, whatever she hit was usually large, solid and _hard_.

…Not to mention the numerous large, solid and hard objects _behind_ said objects, and the ones behind _those_ and the ones behind those and so on…

But back to that big, creepy hideout.

Violet eyes peered at the shabby building. She was tempted to roll her eyes – _anything _as blatantly 'bad' as that was probably just that way for the intimidation factor. It just screamed _'something shady is going on here, come on in take a look!'_ at any casual pedestrian.

…Well, maybe not to any _normal_ people, what with it being in the woods and everything, but _still_ to any curious shinobi it would be like sticking up a flashing sign painted with naked women and rolling out the welcoming mat.

Her unnaturally coloured eyes narrowed as she saw three small figures slip out of the house, being chased out by someone that was noticeably small and waif-like.

Hikari paused to watch as the door slammed closed behind what looked like two 'muscle' guys and their… pay check? Yeah, from the look of the tiny guy in a suit and how he was yelling at the two beef-cakes, he was the 'evil' dude with all the money that ordered people around while blustering about how he was going to rule the world... or something like that anyway.

Hikari rubbed her chin thoughtfully before shrugging _'awe, fuck it. May as well go find out what's up'_. Completely ignoring everything her instructors at the academy had ever told her (humph, what would they know anyway?) she waved her hands and yelled "Hey! People! Whatcha doin?"

The beef-cakes eyes bulged and they whipped their hands to their swords while the short-man with the cane span around in surprise. Hikari thought the widened eyes looked a bit ridiculous on him before he seemed to regain his 'holier-than-thou' posture and stepped towards the slowly approaching kunoichi threateningly "Who gave _you_ permission to come here?! This is _my _land, you… you…"

Hikari blinked upon finding a stubby finger shoved in her face (although the man had to stand on his tippy-toes to manage it). Now he was closer she could see he had fuzzy ginger hair and shaded glasses, and he wore a suit with a _yellow_ shirt and _purple_ tie. Colour blind, perhaps?

"Well!?" He demanded impatiently and waved his finger a little more as if that could be considered intimidating.

Hikari raised a brow and made a show of looking left and right before turning back to him "Guy, _I_ haven't seen a bass-ass sign saying this is _your_ land, alright? _Geez, ya go a little fast and you have an angry midget on your hands…"_ She muttered that last bit, but from the lovely red and purple shading his face acquired she was inclined to believe the midget heard.

The midget didn't get a chance to say what he thought because one of the hired goons grabbed her arm in a meaty fist and yanked her away from him and spluttered loudly and self-importantly "WHY YOU…!! DO YOU _KNOW_ WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO!? THIS IS THE GREAT GATO! HE OWNS GATO TRADING COMPANY AND HAS MORE MONEY THAN YOU'VE MET PEOPLE, YOU PAUPER BITCH!" He squeezed her arm, making the bones grind together.

Hikari on her part was surprised. "_That's _Gato? Huh. I remember him being taller…"

"WHAT- _why you…_ _little_!!"

She rubbed her chin, her eyes narrowing "Hmm, no I _really_ coulda sworn he'd been taller… or… er, oh gawd, how'd I totally forget the guy?"

She was, of course, talking to herself by this point but her audience didn't seem to realise. "Why I oughta… _what _do you _mean_, you thought I was _taller_! That is a grave insult to my name, _girl_!"

Hikari absently waved in the direction spittle was flying and glanced at him "Oh, shut up for a moment, will ya? I'm tryin to figure out why you're so forgettable. I mean, I totally remember Zabuza and his over-compensation…"

"I WILL NOT BE IGNORED BY A LITTLE GIRL!!"

"_Shut up_. No, really. I also remember Haku and _his_ (and oh, gawd and isn't that totally strange how he can pass for a girl… I mean, he's more lady-like than _I_ am) totally awesome kekkei genkai with ice. And how Kaka-sensei impaled him on Chidori isn't something I'd ever forget… well, I guess ya don't really forget all that blood…"

"YOU… YOU!!!"

"Shut your freaking yapping!" She snapped at the loud-mouthed midget – that was apparently Gato, the dude she'd talked Zabuza into killing on her first C-Rank mission – and promptly whipped out a tag and used it to shut his mouth. "It's _annoying_." She muttered, beginning her walk in the direction she _thought_ was where Tazuna's house should be.

"WHAT DID YOU D-DO TO HIM?" Grunt-one yelled at her, fluttering around his boss with the other one trying to make sense of the squiggles tapped over his yap.

"Oh, this is for the best, you know." She absent-mindedly replied, still thinking over just _how_ she didn't remember the stupid Gato.

"Hmm, maybe he's just forgettable? Yeah, he's just forgettable. Totally not worth bothering over." She nodded to herself in resolve and ignored the explosion that came from the direction she had just vacated.

She glanced over her shoulder, seeing the new clearing she had just… installed, and grinned.

"Aah, I do so _love_ exploding tags…"

_

* * *

_

-Unknown-

"**Grrr. I hate you, tiny female."**

"Ooooh, ominous words for such a glorified battery-pack, wouldn't you say?" The blonde provoked, a reckless grin splitting her face.

The thick cage bars rattled and creaked ominously under the assault of aforementioned 'battery pack'. A low, furious, rumbling, _demonic_ growl ripped across the expanse as the being expressed its feelings blatantly. **"The Kyuubi no Yoko is ****not**** a 'battery pack', and **_**any**_** who **_**dare**_** to refer to myself as such would normally be crushed under my feet, their blood splattered across the surroundings and I would use their intestines to lure in my next meal, their heads being-"**

"Yes, yes" The woman said loudly, cutting across the demonic voice and waving her hand flippantly "Whatever, just don't monologue me! I swear, no matter how many times I hear you say that _saying_ it will not suddenly make you capable of crushing me into the ground." The words were in a monotone, as if the woman was repeating a well-used line and was bored of it.

Another snarl was her answer, and a large nose crinkled up as massive, glowing red slit eyes narrowed at the tiny person in front of them **"You need to learn proper respect, bug."**

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever. Now, why the hell… WAIT! Why the hell am I here again? Er… wasn't I just in you know, the _past?_" She glanced around the dark sewer for a moment in confusion before snapping back and glaring at the massive beast in front of her "HEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T COME WITH ME BACK TO THE PAST! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE, FUZZ-BUTT?!"

The demon lord snorted and the hot breath fanned across his former jailor, ruffling her hair and clothes. **"Stupid bug. I would have thought your 'father' invading here and **_**foolishly**_** preventing you from releasing me the first time would have prepared you for something like this."**

"Shut up you arrogant overgrown plushy!" Hikari furiously yelled at the demon. That was still a touchy subject for her.

The red eyes narrowed further and the sewer was saturated by Killing Intent before the demon snorted once again. **"I care not for a mortal's 'problems' **(It snarled the word mockingly) **but I could not allow one bug to wander around unchecked with a fraction of my abilities. I **_**said**_** that I would leave instructions, and so I have."**

"Yeah, those 'instructions'. Hmph. If I knew I'd have to talk to _you_ even after you'd gone, I'd…" Hikari grumbled a few choice curses to herself before she glared back up and the fox. She crossed her arms, tapped her foot and narrowed her eyes at it. "You're _amused_, aren't you?!"

A twisted maw was what she got. **"Silence now, bug. And listen closely, for I will not repeat this."**

It was the tone of finality more than any kind of intimidation that made her acquiesce to the fox demon and make herself comfortable by plonking down in the water. Whenever Kyuubi got talking – _really_ talking, not just calling her an idiot and berating her for her 'lack of proper bloodlust' or how he didn't think she deserved his chakra, he could _talk_.

_

* * *

_

Wave, unfinished Bridge

"Don't kill him, he's just an idiot!"

The shinobi on the bridge paused and looked at the pink-haired kunoichi that was standing next to the reason for their disagreement.

'_Really'_, Kakashi bemoaned silently,_ 'Sakura should at _least_ be in a more professional position to make it _seem_ like she knows what she's doing! If Zabuza or that faux Hunter-nin managed to slip past one of us Tazuna would be dead before I could intervene.'_

He quickly assessed the battle going on between Naruto, Sasuke and the hunter-nin and saw what Sakura was objecting to. The Kiri-nin had his genin at a stand-still; Naruto had gotten himself captured and was currently at the mercy of a senbon that was hovering over his throat.

They'd _arrived_ at the bridge to find the bodies of the workers scattered around and a mist had come in to cloak their sight. Naruto had used a (completely and hopelessly overpowered jutsu, but at least it didn't explode or something like the _last _time) wind jutsu that Kakashi had taught him a few weeks ago to clear up the mist, and after that it'd turned into a battle of jounin-vs-jounin and so on. Sakura had taken up guarding Tazuna (who didn't exactly look happy with the choice of guard) and the boys as predicted had jumped in head-first. He _really_ had to beat that habit out of them before it got them killed and the ensuing paperwork killed _him_.

Kakashi let a sort-of sigh out and glanced at Zabuza, "You wouldn't just give up now, would you?"

"No." The Demon of the Bloody Mist snorted at him, shooting an incredulous glance at the grey-haired jounin "Haku has Blondie at his mercy. _You_ concede and he won't kill your genin."

Kakashi paused. Really, he was just biding a little time for his kage bushin created on-the-sly to break that apart, but a little drama always added a little *something* to a battle between ninja.

He opened his mouth to reply when _something_ burst in on the scene _loudly_. Like, all colour and noise and _completely _out of place on a bloody (literally) bridge where a battle of shinobi was taking place.

When the person – he could see that, now – stopped and looked around, Kakashi took in everything pertinent to the situation – field analysis 101. Female, short, vivid red hair, violet eyes, red coat fluttering around in the wind, shinobi heeled sandals, knee-length pants and shirt. Lacking hitai-ite, Seal Master necklace obscured by collar.

He had taken advantage of the distraction to liberate Naruto from the Kiri-nin's hold, so he got a good look at the utterly shocked expression gracing the youthful-arrival's face as she stared at his blonde genin.

She slowly pointed a finger at Naruto, and Kakashi was mystified at loud (very) loud shout that issued from the woman.

"EEEEHHHH? BUT YOU'RE A _BOY_?!"

* * *

Enjoy. 16/1/2010 -skyflyte12


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

disclaimer

_

* * *

_

She slowly pointed a finger at Naruto, and Kakashi was mystified at the loud, (very) loud shout that issued from the woman.

"_EEEEHHHH? BUT YOU'RE A __BOY__?"_

_

* * *

_

Wave Country, uncompleted bridge

Hikari winced. _'Open mouth, insert foot. Oh shitshitshit!'_

Everyone stared.

"Um… er, I mean…" _'Fuck!'_

Everyone was _still_ staring.

Hikari cleared her throat nervously, intimately aware that every one of the shinobi in front of her was staring at her as if she had pronounced an undying love for the snake-pedo.

Taking advantage of the fact that all of the ninja in front of her were still shocked into frozen statues of shocked icy-ness, she threw up her hands and did a little jig, that totally did not result in her flailing just a little when she slipped on a stray bit of ice that must have been Haku's fault. Posing with as much ridiculous Jiraiya-ness as possible in the end, she exclaimed, "It is I! The Great, Wonderful and Supremely Beautiful Hikari-sama, Seal Master! …No autographs, please, but you can bask in the reflected light of my glory." She added, scratching her chin.

Not even the crickets chirped. Though a bird did crow in the distance.

They stared at her. She stared back.

Hikari scratched the back of her head sheepishly muttering; "Awkward."

"What-" Kakashi muttered.

"-The-" Zabuza injected, still holding his sword out.

"HELL?" The little blonde boy shrieked loudly, wildly pointing at her.

Hikari raised her eyebrows. "Er, weren't you guys like… fighting to the death or something?"

Kakashi shot a glance sideways at the bandaged ex-Kiri nin, and the rouge ninja looked back at him, and something indecipherable to the red-haired Seal Master passed between them.

"Yes." They deadpanned.

They didn't move, so she continued, "…And weren't you, you know, gonna continue with the (she motioned with her arms as if she held a sword, waving it back and fourth) fighty-fighty?"

"No." They told her, in union again. Hikari noticed that the four kids now looked extremely out of place – kinda constipated, if you asked her, "And… why would that be?"

"You." They both said, once again at the same time.

Breathe in, breathe out. "This is creeping me out." She looked at them strangely, and heard her sentiments echoed by Sakura and the Blonde.

"Who are you?" Kakashi demanded, leaning forward threateningly and pointing the kunai at her.

Hikari stared at him. "Are you stupid? I just _said_ who I was, didn't you listen?"

The silver-haired jounin seemed to almost close his eyes in frustration, and Hikari's sensitive ears heard the drawn out aggravated sigh.

Hikari examined all the ninja assembled on the bridge; there was the three Konoha genin, one the unnamed blonde that had taken _her_ position on team seven – because it _had _to be team seven, so where the hell was her mini-me? She felt kinda cheated, considering she could see the cute little Sasuke-chan, and the terribly naïve-looking Sakura. The Blonde did look sort of adorable though… wait, he has… whiskers…? _Kyuubi-yarou!_

Hastily cutting off a line of thoughts that went in a not-nice direction and shutting it in a box somewhere to observe later, she cast a smile at the other occupants of the bridge.

By general consensus, the targets of this expression felt that the loud and crazy woman had too many sharp teeth in it. "So you big bad jounin are gonna stop squabbling like little children now?"

Kakashi inwardly bristled at the tone of the red-haired woman who had _avoided_ his question.

"You and you!" She pointed sharply at Zabuza and his apprentice, slightly shocking them but gaining their attention all the same. "Get out of here, that Gatou dude ain't gonna pay you, so there's no point to the mission."

"Now listen here, _girl_, nobody orders about the Demon of the Bloody Mist!" Zabuza growled, hunching forwards aggressively, absently noting Haku's slight shift of expressions and the boy's inching towards him – his apprentice always was sharp, no doubt he could sense that there was _something_ off about the girl.

The red head scoffed, waving her hand. "Eh, I'm not ordering, just stating facts – that Gatou dude isn't going to pay you for one very good reason."

She held up one finger, displaying it to all those on the bridge grandly. "Care to take a guess as to why?"

"He hired you in Zabuza's place?" Kakashi asked, his sharp mind quickly rolling over the possibilities and devising optimal battle strategies to use against the Seal Master should that be the case.

Zabuza growled at the suggestion, now taking a step forwards.

"Na-ah-ah!" The kunoichi replied, waggling her finger from side-to-side mockingly.

She raised a brow, looking over to the three young Konoha shinobi pointedly; "Come on, any other options? You'll just kick yourselves when you hear it, it know you will!" She practically crowed, bouncing a little in apparent excitement.

The bridge was silent, and Kakashi felt that everybody was completely blindsided by how strange – unreal – this whole situation had turned out. He couldn't think of any encounter that had been stranger… well, apart from that time when Minato-sensei had been drunk and convinced by Jiraiya to… well. Maybe not the _weirdest_ he'd witnessed, but definitely in the top five.

"Oh, Come On! You guys are ninja, aren't ya? What happened to imagination?"

"Just _tell _us, lady!" Kakashi shot a glance at the vibrating Naruto. It looked like he'd _have_ to get the blonde onto activities to lengthen his attention span – it almost looked like he'd totally forgotten about the battle beforehand.

The red-haired Seal Master – _Hikari_, she'd named herself – rolled her eyes. "Oh, you guys are no fun. _Fine_." She sighed, as if being forced to divulge something that should have been obvious, "Gatou won't pay because Gatou _can't_ pay. And why can't Gatou pay? He's dead, that's why!"

Shocked inhales greeted her rather up-beat announcement, and Kakashi slightly relaxed. Zabuza would indeed have no reason to fight him or his genin because of that, which was good. Tazuna, from the corner of his eyes, seemed to be almost crying with relief.

"Well." Zabuza grunted, putting his large sword back in its holster while looking vaguely disgruntled. "That was a waste of time and effort. Haku!"

"Hai!" Haku responded, bounding the distance and stopping at the tall ninja's side. The black-haired ex-Kiri ninja shot a look at Kakashi, "Guess there's no reason to continue now."

Kakashi acknowledged him and slowly put his own kunai back, waving at Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura to stand down (although they had already done this, which was – once again – _unprofessional_) and shot a glance at the red-haired intruder, who seemed to be nonchalantly examining her nails. He studiously ignored that, because seriously – not paying attention to the _two_ A-Classed, borderline S-Classed ninja only a few metres in front of you? Nope, he didn't see that.

"Hope we don't meet again." Kakashi responded nonchalantly, adding his trademark smiley-eye.

Zabuza nodded seriously, proving that he caught what was left unsaid; any future situation that they could meet in would most likely involve another conflicting mission, meaning they would fight again. And it was unlikely to end as this one had, with no casualties and because of the unexpected red-haired distraction.

And then Zabuza was gone.

Kakashi took the removal of this danger and rounded on the woman. "I _still_ have no idea why you are here, Hikari-san." He stated pointedly.

"Eh? Waddya mean, Sharingan Kakashi?" Large _violet_ eyes blinked innocently at the veteran ninja, prompting a random thought about if the strange appearance was related to a bloodline of some kind – he couldn't think of one off the top of his head though.

He took a moment to shoot a glance at Naruto, the very first thing that she had said replaying through his mind.

Kakashi leaned forwards threateningly; "What I _meant_ was: what do you want with Naruto?"

_

* * *

_

Tazuna's House, Wave

"Oh, yeah… _that_." The 'that' fell a little flat to the room's ears, and she was internally wincing as her mind ran at the fucking speed of spotted pervert. _'Bullshit. Bullshit like your life depends on it… which it does. Crap.'_

"Weeell…. I was working on this experiment with my seals, ya know?" Violet eyes darted around shiftily a little before they settled on the three little kiddies that were staring at her with expressions half-way between 'what is she on' and 'maybe she _isn't_ talking crap' before they swept to see the unreadable face of their sensei. Of course, Kakashi's face _was_ mask-covered, so that didn't really say much about his poker face.

'_Goddamit, Hikari!' _She inwardly berated herself,_ '_Ibiki_ bought your crap, and if you can bullshit a man that can read expressions off a mask, this group should be a breeze!'_

"So, yeah, Seals! I did this one that is 'sposed to predict how many people are in an area, ya know? Well, it said there would be two females and five males in the area I set up, and well – Naruto being a male, I got it wrong! Grr, I'll have to go back to the freakin' drawing board thanks to that stupid glitch." Hikari was scowling now, and shot an irritated glare at her hapless counter-part (which totally did not compute) for his (imagined) part in this failed experiment.

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow and leaned back. "A _seal_ that can tell how many people are in a given area? That is impressive."

Hikari smirked a little. "Yeah it really is, ain't it?" she agreed, a note of pride in her voice.

"I hope that you won't mind explaining a little about how your seal works, would you? You know, in the interest of soothing over your strange announcement." Kakashi added, an edge of steel edging his words.

Hikari railed at his tone – it clearly said he was extremely doubtful of her excuse for the strange behaviour. She gave him an annoyed glare and pulled out a scroll, casually biting a thumb and running the blood over the paper, making a puff of smoke appear. When it cleared she was holding another scroll and she open it as well, revealing lines of (rather messy and incomprehensible) script. She shoved it under the jounin sensei's nose with a triumphant expression.

The grey-haired man stared at her for a second before slowly taking the scroll from her hands warily – as if he expected it to explode or something – and none of her smug expression changed as his brow furrowed and eyes darted over the writing.

Hikari snuck a glance at the three genin who were attempting (and failing) to look like they were uninterested in the scroll.

After a few silent moments and very smug seal master, Kakashi very seriously looked up and met her eyes. He deadpanned, "This… is a travel log."

Hikari rolled her eyes and brushed hair off her face, snorting. "No it's not."

Kakashi gave her a flat stare and reiterated; "Fine. This is a list of all the ramen stands you have ever visited, rated on a scale that I'm not too sure has any rhyme or reason to how you arrive at the results, and it also holds notes on…" He glanced at it for a moment "Apparently the best… death threats you have received on any given day?"

Hikari blinked and leaned over, turning the scroll around so that she had a better angle to stare at the little annotations that quite often ran over the actual text making it indecipherable in those places. She hummed indecisively for a moment before reading aloud; _"Return my object/person/limb or I'll stick a straw in your eye and suck out your cornea!'_ Hey, that was a good one! I mean, it just has pzazz or something like that, ya know? It gave me an _awesome_ idea for a new seal, too!" She commented cheerfully, ignoring the pale and slightly horrified-looking genin as she did so.

Kakashi fixed her with a droll stare. "Even so, in exactly what way does a list of the Hidden Country's best ramen stands relate to a seal that can determine how many people are frequenting an area?"

Hikari dithered for a moment over if she should answer the question or continue mentally scarring the genin, but eventual chose the former considering that _technically_ she was scarring herself (although it was a 'himself', and the logistics of it all made her brain hurt to even _think_ about thinking about that kettle of fish) and as such responded: "It's in code." In that 'well duh' type of voice that people used to state the painfully obvious to those with some form of mental deficiency.

Kakashi eyed her flatly. "Some of these places I have been to recently and the stands do not exist."

"That's why it's called a _code._" Hikari replied slowly.

"Aaa." Kakashi acknowledged vaguely, and Hikari saw him fiddling with his hitai-ite. "Well this is very impressive, Hikari-san."

'_It's lucky he doesn't know that that actually _is_ my top rated list of ramen stands… heh eh heh… that really was a load of shit. But at least the seal isn't bullshit – that little baby is awesome!'_ Hikari thought to herself, pretending to not notice that Kakashi had used his Sharingan to copy her awesome writing. It would probably only give him a headache trying to make anything out of it anyway.

"So. How exactly does it work, Hikari-san?" Kakashi asked, now seeming fairly curious about it after apparently accepting her explanation for her 'interest' in Naruto.

Hikari grinned sharply, as always very happy to enlighten others of her sheer and utter brilliance with the esoteric Art of fuuinjutsu.

"Well basically, I've got a 'controlling' seal that maps out the perimeter of the placed seals, showing the position of people. I'm not gonna go into detail for obvious reasons, but you got make sure you place the mapping seals properly so the relay isn't shot to hell – they've gotta be able to connect, and that won't happen if they're out of place."

Kakashi apparently had no idea what she was talking about – which was, of course, why she'd said it like that and left out any explanation of the symbols and checks required to create the field sensory seals, and how to get a relay to the controlling seal.

It was practically what she lived by; 'If you can't dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit.' She preferred to do both at the same time.

Kakashi was still staring wonderingly down at her scribbles, and Hikari decided to just go with whatever the hell was happening… and she felt that would include getting the hell away from Konoha ninja so she could have a chance to totally explode with the knowledge that she was a _fucking male_ in this universe.

The Kyuubi would soo be dead, if it wasn't already.

...But it wasn't exactly dead now, wasn't it?

...oh the _possibilities_....

_

* * *

_

A/N: For your enjoyment. I hope it wasn't too choppy, and yes_, I am aware that the genin faded into the background in this chapter – that's because Kakashi _can_ actually shut them up in the presence of a questionable foreign ninja so he can assess the threat level – there will definitely be more interaction with them in the next one._


End file.
